flying under the open blue sky...

frankie and johnny- the imperfects..

2010-06-27T05:14:00.000-07:00

Frankie and Johnny.
She is 32 or 34 or 35. He is 42 or 44 or 45. She lives in a studio apartment in new York, has not been in a relationship from a long time. He was in a prison from 18 months, and has just come to new York, looking for work. Everyone in her family is mostly happy except her, she is living alone and miserably. He sees the photo of his ex wife and children every now and then in his room and misses them, he gets a hooker but does not sleep with her, just wants her to wrap her arms around him when he sleeps. She is a waitress, he joins the restaurant as a cook. And then, it happens.
The premise of the movie Frankie and Johnny is very simple. But the characterization is as complex. Frankie (michelle pfeifer) is a lonely mid thirties woman, living in new York and working as a waitress, and johnny (al pacino), a mid 40s man, joins the restaurant as a cook, and things start ‘cooking’. What transforms this very simple story is the writing, and the acting. And the fact that it deals with the most basic human fears and emotions., and the fact that it seems to be even more relevant today, then in 1991, when it was released.
The backdrop of the story is the restaurant in which the two characters work, and the loneliness of the people working in the restaurant and those who come to eat there. Frankie has had her share of relationships, which has led her averse to commitment and intimacy. She fears, that everytime she gets close to someone, something bad will happen. Johnny has been very lonely, and he senses an instant attraction between him and Frankie, though she does not want to admit it. He falls madly in love with her, and how they try to get past their previous baggages which has resulted into extreme mis trust and fear of relations to give their own relation a try, which forms the premise. That seems familiar.
But, its how the mood of the place and chemistry of characters is captured, is whats brilliant. There is a constant tennis match of emotional give and take about fears of what if, which the main characters go through as they work in the restaurant and try to get close to one another. The day Johnny joins the restaurant, the same day, a women who used to work at that place for 15-20 yrs is admitted to the hospital and soon dies. When frankie and her friend go to visit her, they look at each other and say ‘ are we also going to end up alone like this in a hospital’. There are the sub plots of a strict restaurant manager, the other cooks and waiters, who add humility and believability to the setting. Ultimately, its about connections. Its the fears of living without any purpose, hope and loneliness in concrete jungles, which lies at the core of the movie. In one of the scenes, lying on the bed, Frankie asks Johnny why does he want to kill himself sometime? And he replies-
‘I want to kill myself sometimes when I think that I'm the only person in the world and that part of me that feels that way is trapped inside this body, that only bumps into other bodies, without ever connecting to the only other person in the world trapped inside of them. We have to connect. We just have to. ‘
Its these internal quite desperations, which the characters around the world, go through in real life, which the story tries to pinpoint. The movie, which is based on a play, has some great dialogue, but the actors say it so naturally and casually that one hardly notices their brilliance. Whoever thought that al pacino could not carry off a light role, has to watch this movie. His character is emotionally extremely vulnerable and in a way little cheesy, and to play that so naturally with intricacy is so difficult. Having been in prison, he had mastered the art of not making a noise while cuming. When Frankie and Johnny sleep together for the first time, he screams for the first time in possibly a long time, and he does it with such a twinkle, these small points of writing genius spread all over the film lifts the film. He lays himself open so easily and his eyes give out his desperation. Nathan lane as tim, the gay neighbor of Frankie is as always spot on and steals the show, one wonders why he is not seen in more films. But the best part was without a doubt Pfeiffer, film after film she expresses layers of complicated emotions with grace, and one cant help but fall in love with her eccentricities and so called weaknesses. She does not need words to say, or tears to cry, she acts by reacting, and expresses love without touching or even looking at the other character.
As the buildings get taller, people think faster, flights become cheaper, planet becomes smaller, distance between people keeps on increasing. Probably its true that relations are not meant to last forever, but in a moment, for even few moments, there are bound to be small, even insignificant human connections and bonds, maybe it might not be a bad idea to keep the calculations and logic aside, and give these connections a chance, who knows what the breeze may bring !This is one of the old school romances, which I hear was not given its due at the time of its release. I thought its never too late to do something about that, in whatever small way we can!!! Probably the best line of the movie-
‘Now, there's a man and a woman. He's a cook. She's a waitress. Now, they meet and they don't connect. Only, she noticed him. He could feel it. And he noticed her. And they both knew it was going to happen. They made love, and for maybe one whole night, they forgot the 10 million things that make people think, I don't love this person, I don't like this person, I don't know this- Instead, it was perfect, and they were perfect. And that's all there was to know about. Only now, she's beginning to forget all that, and pretty soon he's going to forget it too. ‘

mara drento( the sea inside)- freedom in life and death..

2010-06-25T05:58:00.000-07:00

Over the years, as I have seen this movie again and again, often alone, often with old friends and some new ones, I have come to realize that probably my favourite character in this movie is that of the young priest who accompanies an older paralysed priest, who comes to meet ramon to convince him not to die. This feeling of mine came from the observation I often made of the reaction of people watching this movie for the first time, cause their feelings for the 2 hrs during which the movie lasts, is pretty much resembled by the condition of that young blank priest, caught between two sides, not knowing what is RIGHT and WRONG, what is GOOD and is BAD.
For those who have still not seen this movie, this movie tells the story of ramon, a Spanish sailor and later poet, who lived last 28yrs of his life paralytic from neck down, after a diving accident at sea, and considering his forced way of living not worth the gift of LIFE, decides to make an indigenous plan to kill himself, and the story of the movie is majorly about the last few months of his life, in which he falls in love, with whom people fall in love, writes amazing poetry and tells something to the world before he flies off.
Ramon (played by Xavier bardem) has a brother, sister in law, a nephew, father in the family who caringly and selflessly take care of him in his years as a paralytic. In his fight to win his right to choose his death, he meets a lawyer with a little similar disease, and as they share his past together while preparing his case, and share their common fears together, they slowly fall in love. A love so strong that they decide to die together, instead of going through the life in the only way their health permits. Even if the love story may not have the ideal ending, it was enough for him to last for that lifetime. Ramon also develops a tagless relation with an rj/mill working girl with 2 children, who feels she loves him and who often comes to meet him, thinking she will somehow be able to change his decision of killing himself, not knowing that its she who is the one who is being healed and helped by him.
Ramon was a very charming man. A very life loving man. That can be seen the way he packed his bags at the tender age of 21-22 and set out to become a sailor and travelled the world. He had a way to make the ladies fall in love with him, had a great self depreciating humor on the surface but then out of nowhere would say stuff like-
‘When you can't escape, and you constantly rely on everyone else, you learn to cry by smiling, you know? ‘
Most of the movie is shot in one small countryside house, in a small room, around a small bed. What elevates the movie is the screenplay, written by also the director of the movie as well as the composer, alezandro Amenabar. Like the scene when the lawyer Julia, asks ramon about his past life, and the shot cuts to later in the night, and as the recording of that answer plays on julia’s tape, she simultaneously looks at ramon’s pictures when he travelled the world, as ramon hears from the other room and along with Julia, remembers his own life, now only left in pictures and memories. Or it’s the scene when ramon imagines himself flying, from his window all way to Julia to the beach. My personal favourite is a very simple shot in the beginning when ramon meets Julia for the first time and when he says he cannot even touch her though she is so close by, and the camera slowly pans from his hand to hers. It’s a simple shot, but it reminds how powerfully the small grammar of films can be used to say so much. You dont need exaggerated sets, huge canvases to tell a story honestly or prove the depth of a man, all one needs is conviction in the story to tell it honestly and simply. Cause the greatest mysteries and beauty are not external, but most often internal.
Why then, does ramon, inspite of so many loving people around him, with so much to live for, so hellbent on killing himself? The only way one can answer that question is by dwelling into that bed where he has stayed for 28yrs and looking at life through his heart and eyes. Director Amenabar and bardem have consistently said that they don’t endorse the thinking of ramon, but why not look at his point of view even if you don’t agree with it, and try to understand him through his eyes? That is where the master Amenabar and genius of bardem comes in, they don’t convert this gut wrenching story into a cry fest and manipulation, they tell the story of a man wanting to kill himself by showing the beauty of life, thus making one only love life more! Like that scene when ramon is going to the court, and having left his home for the first time in years, as his van makes its way through the country side, he sees the clean blue sky, he sees dogs fucking, children playing, the fans flying, birds dancing, do we, the blessed ones look at these small pleasures of beauty of nature, and enjoy life!! It takes genius to turn a ‘supposed’ tragic and blasphemous story and turn its ‘perceived’ soul on its head, and convert it to a life loving story. Bardem, takes acting to another level. He just plainly, does. He enacts by his eyes, by his look, by his stares, by his I don’t know. No matter how much one tries to analyze how he did it, one wont understand its answer. All one can do is simply enjoy its magic for the zillionth time. Its hard to accept that Amenabar learnt to compose music mostly by himself through computer software, music in this film, is like a character in the film, and speaks without words, the emotions the chaos and pain characters are going through.
It’s a sin in my view, to write an article on a movie on which I am very sure articles would have been written in the past, so I am being little hypocritical here. The reason then, I write on this movie, is the lack of complete empathy of specially young people, to put themselves in the shoes of others and see the world from other view points. Sorry if I am being condescending and judgmental, but that is what I, an ignorant pathetic soul, honestly feels. And that’s exactly what this movie forces us to do, it forces us to constantly look at the world through different eyes, through contradictions, it asks us to be confused and ask questions to ourselves for a change instead of constantly passing judgments and accusations. It asks us to empty our mind which often have been overflowing with definitions of RIGHT and WRONG, whether its by religion or the ‘wise’ elders, or the society at large, and bring more individualism to the thoughts, it asks us to be that young priest again, standing in the stairs, asking himself existence defying questions.
An excerpt from the conversation between the priest who comes to tell ramon not to kill himself-
Priest: Freedom without a life is not freedom.
Ramon: A life without freedom is not a life
Its not important that this movie won the Oscar. Why is it so important for this movie to be accompanied by ‘ Based on a true story’, is our imagination windows and doors of the heart so tightly shut that we can’t empathize such stories without these things. I request, to again be open to imagination, watch movies with heart again rather than just the mind. I am no one to tell anyone anything. Just another stupid no one. But maybe its not that bad to go down a questioning, confused no one ready for new thoughts, then an overflowing mind with no space for new questions, forget the answers. I hereby declare my small thanks to ramon and Amenabar, for not only showing me the value of ‘LIFE’ rather than just living, highlighting the amount of power cinema possesses and the belief in- ‘ I may not agree with you, but I will try my best to protect your right to speak your mind’. As at the end ramon says, there is no heaven or hell. There is neither any certainity in the future, all there is, is today, the present, the gift of life. And that’s what he said through the lens of Amenabar, enjoy the present.

Last line of the movie-
Out to sea. Out to sea, and in the weightlessness of the deep where dreams come true, two souls unite to fulfill a single wish. Your gaze and mine, over and over like an echo, repeating silently: "Deeper, and deeper," beyond everything that is flesh and blood. But I always awaken and I always wish for death, my lips forever entangled in your hair.
Trailer-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXswaaYfBqQ&feature=PlayList&p=B2A31530FAD1B49C&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=45

agora..

2010-04-29T20:55:00.001-07:00

A few days ago, on the rooftop of a flat, I got drunk with my best friends, and we argued, fought, debated about religion, god, violence and the lot. I have never believed in religion, and have felt a deep sense of anger to the whole notion of religion and god, and the way its used today and in the past. Ironically, the next day I watched a film called AGORA, and without no sense of exaggeration and with honesty I want to say, that I will never be the same person I was before I saw it, and that i have found my god, Mr. Alejandro Amenabar, the maker/writer of the film.

I remember when I was a child and used to hear about religions and gods, churches and temples and mosques, my young mind used to imagine these gods sitting on different stars, which I used to gaze at, as I slept in the quiet garden of my society late in the night, and controlling the people who followed them on earth. I used to think that all gods are in competition of who will cause greatest good to their own followers, and harm to those who don’t follow them. Then one grows up, some start accepting, some become indifferent, and some keep questioning. This movie is not diplomatic. After watching the movie, if you are one of the believers then you will question, if you are those who question, your blood will boil. And for those who are indifferent, well, your indifference will be tested, to the core.

Set in Alexandria, Rome in 391 A.D, it recites the true story about Hypatia (Rachel weisz). She is an atheist and an astronomer, who teaches a young bunch of students astronomy, and constantly questions herself about the beliefs she has had about the universe and the solar system and the shape of the earth, and looses herself in the research in her library in the middle of the city, which is the symbol of logic and science and human development by rationale. She is loved by one of her students Orestes ( Oscar Isaac) and also her slave Davus (max minghella). But the story is set in the backdrop of the violent uprising of Christianity in the city, which was mostly inhabited by pegans and jews at the time who worshipped their own gods. But because of the sudden huge increase in number of Christians in the city, pegans and jews feel threatened, and attack Christians, which leads to a violent showdown midway through the movie, and Christians overthrow the pegans by invading and annihilating the library and everything humans had learned about the universe. And ultimately, how the Christian fundamentalists take over the city forms the core of the movie.

An excerpt from the movie-
CHRISTIAN: The majority of us here... have accepted Christ. Why not the rest of you? It's only a matter of time and you know it.
HYPATIA: Really? It is just a matter of time? ...As far as I am aware, your God has not yet proved himself to be more just or more merciful than his predecessors. Is it really just a matter of time before I accept your faith?
CHRISTIAN: Why should this assembly accept the council of someone who admittedly believes in absolutely nothing?
HYPATIA: I believe in philosophy.

Amongst all the madness, hypocrisy and violence in Alexandria, when people are fighting to prove whose god is the real ‘GOD’, where political vendetta and religious fundamentalism are the norm to rule, HYPATHIA is the only symbol of hope, logic and courage in the setting. She chooses to live a life full of difficulty, loneliness and as most people may put it in that time ‘absurdity’, to fight what she believes in, and to explore the truth about solar system, movement of the planets and so on while outside her house, fundamentalists are taking over the city, with wrongly interpreted scriptures, and spreading fear and hatred and term her as exercising ‘witch craft’. Its difficult to talk about the story, without giving away the important plot points. As hypatia’s former students become important figures in the political scene in the city over time, the lessons she taught them, are tested, faiths questioned, and though the lessons she taught about astronomy maybe forgotten, but the bonds of friendship, trust and love she formed between them last.

Max minghella as the silent slave, who loves Hypatia, but on not getting her, decides to follow the crowd and become an unwilling follower of religious bigotry, lets his body language and silence do the talking. Though he remains loyal to her till the end, in life or in death. Against the towering Hypatia, oscar as orestis looks weak and fragile, but maybe that was the character demand. Rachel weisz. Oh, Rachel weisz. What cannot be said about her performance. She breathes her very bloody soul into HYPATHIA. The passion with which she studies astronomy, is complimented by the optimistic grit with which she opposes religious violence. The frail vulnerability with which she makes life altering decisions which will commit her to lifelong loneliness is heartbreaking. But above all, she brings madness to her passion, which was probably the only way one could have done what she did in the era in which she lived. Its my favourite performance of an actress, who does not have any huge emotional ups and downs in the character, as to shine without those tools most characters have, is very very difficult. On being told to make a choice and accept, and not ask questions about religion and astronomy or else, she just looks down, blinks her eyes, looks up, and says with simple honesty,

‘you don't question what you believe, or cannot. I must’

Amenabar. The man who made the sea inside. I am sure most people would have doubted, he could surpass that everest. When I saw the trailer of agora, I was shocked as I have hardly ever seen a costume period drama, which I liked. Just the way, a great war movie is the one which is anti war in nature, I believe, a great historical is the one, which shows the state of mankind drawing parallels, between now and then, which transcends over time, and that is exactly what this does. When the races attack one another and blood is being spilled on the streets, amenabar uses these amazing over the top shots, and I don’t know why, all the humans in that shot looked like the ants I so often see in my bedroom, who look as if they are fighting over a piece of sweet. I wonder if there really is any god, he really looks down on us the same way..

Instead of focusing on all the un wanted things of big costumes or decorations, he concentrates on the blandness of human psychology of that time, and asks the viewers a question- ‘ARE WE ANY DIFFERENT TODAY??’ His use of music, like in the sea inside, is as disturbing and uplifting in this one.. Here is a director with balls, and who does not care to sugar cote what he wants to say. He pinches where it hurts. He punches at the most vulnerable place of humanity. The production design is breath taking, not necessarily because of it being ‘beautiful’, but because of it adding so much to the hopelessness of it all. There will be those who will accuse it for being anti- Christian, or being biased or inaccurate, but this movie is not about a particular religion or race, its about the bloody definition of being ‘humane’, and whether we have from 2000 yrs, under the pretexts of religion and race for power and greed have been raping that word, and living in a dream world, not accepting the reality.

Just like watching the sea inside, I went blank after this movie, and as I sat silently, I picked up one of the magazines infront of me, and as I blankly went through the pages, with my mind still in the movie, I came across an excerpt by a director whose hindi multi star cast movie is going to release soon and expected to be a big hit saying- ‘movies are only for fun entertainment. There is nothing big that can be said or changed by movies’. On the tv, there were reports about sania mirza marriage, suicide bomb in pakistan, and so on.

I came back to the movie again and watched it again. And I saw a scene, where osteres pleads with hypathia to convert to christanity and do what the fundamentalist Cyril says, or they wont be able to defeat him. At this hypathia smiles, and says ‘ oh osteres, Cyril has already won, when you asked me to do that.’ I wonder whether that’s irreversibly true then, today and from now. I don’t know. Maybe the fact that this movie did not get a major release in USA when tones of other not deserving did, and neither did it win anything at most places, where lots of others not deserving did, says something.

p.s – these are my personal views on the movie, and I am not sorry if they offend anybody.

the wonder years..

2010-03-30T02:25:00.000-07:00

I remember my school used to end at 4 pm sharp. I would sit in the rickshaw with a bunch of other kids as the rickshaw made its way through the small streets of ahmedabad, counting the seconds till I got home, quietly staring a girl I used to have a crush on. I would get home, and having cut a deal with my mom about the milk which I had to drink to watch tv, I would grab the food and milk, switch on the tv and watch ‘The wonder years’ on star plus. I was 11 or 12 yrs old.
The wonder years, for those who don’t know about it, was tv series which aired in 1988 in America, and many years later in india when I saw it, it was set in late 1960s and early 70s and told the story about Kevin Arnold, 12 yrs old boy and about his teen years, along with his family which consisted of his dad jack Arnold, mother norma, sister carol, brother wayne, friend paul and girlfriend Winnie living in a typical ‘american suburb’.

The story is told from the perspective of grown up Kevin Arnold who is looking back at his growing up years and narrates in the background. The show is about growing up. About the first crush, first kiss, first best friend, first fights with parents, puberty, first pimple, first time driving a bike or a car, annoying siblings, heartbreaks, life changing teachers, and on and on. The show lasted till the end of Kevin’s teen years ie for 6 years, but for its die hard fans it will stay with them for a lifetime.
I have often wondered what makes this show so personal and intimate for its die hard fans like me. What little answer I have found for that question, I have learnt that it may be because, for many people, often their principle joy in life once they grow up and loose themselves in the everyday formalities of life, when they are absolutely alone or with their closest dear ones, comes from memories. Narrating the stories of growing up to themselves or close ones, about the innocent times, about times when the centre of the world was the question whether the girl in my class likes me or not? Whether dad is gonna increase my allowance or not? Whether my best friend is gonna get me a good birthday gift or not? Remembering the fun time with friends, who were friends with you without any expectations? And in spite of the fact that the serial was rooted very deeply in the environment of an american suburb, anyone living in most parts of the world can relate to it, and it allows the viewers to relive their own experiences.
Almost everyone if I may dare say so, has a little part of Kevin inside of them while growing up. Kevin is a regular 12 yr old, trying to be cool at school, trying to get along with his brother wayne, one of the most funniest characters who keeps on ragging him, try to understand his sister who like most 19-20 yr olds in 1970s in america was going through an identity crisis, and understanding her odd ways. One of the most interesting things about the series was the equation of Kevin with his dad, who was a korea war veteran and now working in a company, and hating his job and unhappy most of the times, but still keeps dreaming, and ofcourse the adorable mom norma, whose world revolves around her children. What breathed life in the show was the back ground narration by grown up Kevin, and the fact that in almost every episode which was roughly around 20mts long, the first 15mts would be flat out funny, but the last 5mt will be so deep, and rich in philosophy and metaphor and regret and honest, that it left a strong impression on most of the viewers. And ofcourse, Kevin and his on/off relation with Winnie cooper (by the way, like many others, she was my first crush), his sweetheart for all his teen years, their fights and romance and constantly changing equations were so funny and complex , so tender and yet so brutal, that it was heartwarming.
There are 115 episodes and each one of them, is so deep and funny then I can write a post on each of them. Some of my favourite I can remember right away was probably when Kevin tries to play baseball and plays well once, but as it turns out it was a fluke and plays horribly in the next few matches as under pressure, but then on the last day he hits a home run and as his team mates and Winnie are all happy and celebrating, but in the background Kevin says that ‘that’s not how it probably happened, I did not play well in my last game either, but this is how I want to remember my last day on the baseball field’. Or it’s the episode of when carol gets married and is about to go away against the wishes of her parents, and when she finally gets mad at her parents and tells them to let her go, norma looks at her and with weepy eyes says ‘ you can go if you want. We won’t stop you. But no matter where you are, we will never let you go’.
The magic of the series lies in the fact that its set in a time of innocence, when the world was not so cynical and depressing. The background score with guitar adds to the magic in every episode. The story is entirely told from a perspective of a young boy dealing with the most basic problems and grappling with questions which most people growing up have had, and seeing the world through his eyes creates a strange sense of dichotomy in the viewers about the things one takes for granted. It creates humor in the most weardest places, and the story telling constantly compares and contrasts with what was happening in that time in america and the world through its situations and characters, ex the Vietnam war, Apollo missions, Woodstock and so on. So in a way, it talks about the growing up and changes in the entire human cycle in a way, from the eyes of the teen protagonist. Those who have seen it may be able to understand better what I am saying.
It talks about friendship and family and how quickly time passes by, about how people live with the regrets of things they say and did not say, about people who used to believe in dreams. The character of Kevin re invigorates the child inside of all adults who has stopped asking questions long time back. It brings out the beauty and humor in the most mundane everyday life no matter which part of the world you belong. The greatest part about it is that, it transcends time, I look at the series differently today then I did 10 yrs back. And I will enjoy and view it differently when I watch it 10yrs later. That’s great story telling and that’s where it resembles any great piece of cinema as at the end its about pure, simple moments.
Today at 23, when I watch it after a hard day of rejections and disappointments at work and films, it reminds me of certain feelings and human connections which I had stopped feeling a long time back. It answers the questions about life and happiness, which are maybe about certain moments which arise from human connections and elusive and momentary bonds. Above all it teaches about the dysfunctional, yet loving family which is willing to hurt one another to protect one another. It teaches about love and friendship, which may not last forever, but gives enough strength from small moments to last for a long time. It makes me want to go back to the small streets of ahmedabad every time I go back home, and remember the dusty roads I grew up on, remember the hazy faces in my minds now, whom I used to call best friends then, makes me want to feel the strange tingling sensations which small things used to make me feel then, to energize enough to keep forging ahead. Sorry if the length of post is little long! Will just like to end with couple of dialogues which I am sure those who have seen the series will remember—
Kevin and Winnie break up in the last episode and this is what Kevin says at the end about her-
“Once upon a time there was a girl I knew, who lived across the street. Brown hair, brown eyes. When she smiled, I smiled. When she cried, I cried. Every single thing that ever happened to me that mattered, in some way had to do with her. That day Winnie and I promised each other that no matter what, that we'd always be together. It was a promise full of passion and truth and wisdom. It was the kind of promise that can only come from the hearts of the very young.

The series ends in the 115th episode with the following narration by Kevin in the background—
Things never turn out exactly the way you planned. I know they didn't with me. Still, like my father used to say, 'Traffic's traffic, you go where life takes you' and growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers, the next you're gone, but the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a time a place, a particular fourth of July, the things that happened in that decade of war and change. I remember a house like a lot of houses, a yard like a lot of yards, on a street like a lot of other streets. I remember how hard it was growing up among people and places I loved. Most of all, I remember how hard it was to leave. And the thing is, after all these years I still look back in wonder…

A couple of video links for those interested—
First kiss in the first episode- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXHWsY5uVbE
Tribute- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oK1YExoYRpA&feature=related
Last episode, last 5mts- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oykOSd8ElK8&feature=related

road, movie-- on the open road..

2010-03-05T07:54:00.001-08:00

The open road—

Warning—Contains spoilers—

Its a very clichéd saying this these days, but honestly, its been 4 hrs since I watched the movie but still have not been able to stop thinking about it. By this review, I am still trying to decipher myself why I feel so.

On the surface, road movie is about Vishnu, whose father owns an oil business in a city in Rajasthan, and who wants his son to join the business too. The movie begins with the father telling his son in a dimly lit room by taking some oil in his hand “ Vishnu, sungh use, ye tera future hai”. But the young man chances upon an old truck to be delivered to a far off city, and volunteers to do the work of delivering the truck, mostly trying to run away from a “settled” oil selling salesman life his parents dream he will live. And the truck also is ‘Chalta phirta cinema’, with Victoria projectors fitted in it along with few reels of films.

On the way he chances upon a boy who is running towards some city where he hopes to find a job, an older man who is going for a ‘mela’, to mostly relive his life from the memories, and also helps out in keeping the truck alive by acting as a part time driver and a gypsy women, whose husband was killed and she is now searching for water. For a brief moment in time, these 4 people share a truck and their lives, till destiny takes its turn.

Below the surface, this film is probably the most metaphorical movie I have seen in a long time. Throughout the journey, a group of women armed with small pots singing local songs and looking for water in the desert keep crossing the path of the truck. For me they were a symbol, for the journey Vishnu is also making internally, and India as a country is making philosophically.

As the 4 people cross the dead desert, looking for water and the mela, they encounter a cop, who forces them to show villagers a movie o the projector or hang upside down in the dingy cell in the middle of nowhere, or it’s the water stealing mafia gang whose leader explains how he is better off then the blood sucking mncs privatizing water. There is a hilarious scene where Vishnu trades off his fathers oil bottles with which the mafia don (seemingly a spoof on the gabber type hindi film characters) becomes a ‘mard’ and gives water in the exchange of oil.

On a deeper level, the movie is about a lost civilization of the rural India, which is getting more and more desperate and going away from the global India. Its about how the people in rural India, who amongst the barren lands of India, in between dier poverty still have the spirit to forget the worries and loose themselves in the world of fantasy of films, even if for a few hours. As the group reaches the mela and shows the cinema to the people gathered there, Vishnu sees the people dancing and enjoying themselves in the moment. It’s a philosophical ride, as to how the urban India and the world with all its materialism and money is unable to find the innocence and happiness which the rural folks still latch onto in the few hrs of watching cinema and merry making and the mela.

The great thing about the film for me was it did not end up being motorcycle diaries part 2. It is little close to into the wild but still very different. It Did not go melodramatic. It did not build any false hopes. Like a charles bukowski poem, it only tried to find beauty in the deadly deserts of the place and people by beautiful photography and background score. It showed people as they are. On the journey, Vishnu starts liking the gypsy girl and even sleeps with her (or did he?), but by the end they go there separate ways, cause they are not meant to be together. That was how long they as a couple, and they as a group are supposed to be together, like in life. In life one meets people, who form an impression and there are exchanges of all kinds, and then people move on.

The editing and direction are brave. Dev benegal is devoid of most tools which a normal director has at his disposal. For most parts, the truck is stranded between the desert with nothing around for miles, and all he has is the actors. He uses silence, reactions and helplessness of characters to great use. Only a film maker will know how brave one has to be, to make a film the way he has does here. There will be a lot that will be said about photography which is very good, but in my books it looks that good cause that’s how benegal allowed it to come across, taking his time, cause it may easily backfire.

Lets face it, there is no mainstream hindi actor today, who would have done this role, forget do so well except abhay deol. Film after film, he does not give the feel that he is acting in films, he is just there as Vishnu, like all his other characters, feeling what the character is going through and reacting. The find of the film is the young child actor, totally uninhibited and fearless, with some very funny lines. Satish kaushik shows how his potential has not at all been used in most of his hindi films. As he sits in the desert and eats all the food of Vishnu, he uses his so called physical drawbacks as brilliant tools to generate character arch. And peeping through the rajasthani saree, tanishtha is brilliant & beautiful as the gypsy women, portraying the fragile yet strong women with much ease and grace.

I would really like to write a post on this movie again after few weeks when I can fully comprehend all the things I thought the movie was telling me as a viewer. But for now, the movie told me how beautiful the world and its people can be, and how pointless materialism is if you don’t know how to be happy and sensitive in life. The most amazing part about the movie was the way it played with the definition of the word ‘beauty’ itself. It not only displays the urban rural divide, but about divide in general, when in the era of internet which was supposed to bring people closer, people are moving farther and farter away. When character of Satish kaushik laughs with tears in his eyes on watching the old black and white Charlie chaplin which he probably watched while growing up, and he drops dead with a big smile on his face while watching it, something else dies with him too. That thing is probably a phase in human cycle or a part of humanity in a way, in an era when things were simpler. In the start of the film, Vishnu listening to an ipod and walking in a concrete city has an angry bored expression on his face, at the end when he on a bike, travels into the desert he is filled with an optimism and a strange determination to continue the journey of self discovery by traveling externally. As a viewer, I felt the same. I wonder how many movies which deal the most pessimistic truths about humanity, can achieve such a high level of optimism.

scream

2010-01-27T12:17:00.001-08:00

Its late,
Very late in the night,
And I hear the sound,
The sound which scares me,
It haunts me,
Does not let me feel or breathe,
It’s the sound of silence,
The more I try not to hear it,
The more louder it gets,
The more it grabs me,
Grabs me tight, right in the middle,
I scream, but cant hear my voice,
I shiver, hoping somehow, for the sun to rise,
To listen the birds,
For the wind to blow,
And then my eyes are filled,
With the orange of the sun,
And I know that it will be all right,
But as the day goes on,
The emptiness does not leave me,
The void does not get filled,
Sound gets sharper, louder,
Alas,
There is no longer the difference between day and night,
Cause the void is inside of me,
Cause the voice inside of me is dying,
Slowly and slowly,
I cry for help,
I scream,
But there is no one there,
The sun is setting, inside of me,
All I can do, is hope,
For someone to grab my hand,
To whisper in my ears again,
Make me feel I am alive again,
To tell me, very slowly,
That there is enough good in the world,
To live again…….

alive

2010-01-27T12:16:00.000-08:00

Is it blue,
Or is it white,
Nope it sees to be orange,
As I fly in the sky,
I see the clouds,
They are dancing,
Playing & mesmerizing,
Am actually flying in the clouds,
Its then, just then,
That I feel a pinch,
And I wake up,
I wear my suit, and my tie,
I have my cornflakes,
My parents very happy,
To see me drive away in my new car,
And my wait begins,
It begins for the night to come again,
To fly again,
To feel free again,
To feel something again,
To feel anything again,
Even if its when,
I am dreaming,
Cause some people live for 16 hrs a day,
I Live for 8 a day…

wonder

2010-01-27T12:15:00.000-08:00

Wonder why,
Why I cant sleep at night,
Wonder why,
Why I cant feel my life,
Wonder what,
Is itt that pains so much,
So much,
That it hurts to breath,
wonder why,
Do we still go on,
Go on with all the lies,
All the pretense,
Whom are we lying to,
Is it the others around us?
Or to ourselves,
Life..
What is it after all?
The acceptance of this pretence?
Which with the pain brings the joy,
This is what we are told,
From as long as I remember,
The real joy,
The joy which gives the others around me joy..
But is”nt the pain which I feel by this acceptance,
More killing then the joy which I give to others..
I hope I keep wondering,
Cause it scares me,
That one day,
I will accept,
Accept the pretence,
And then I wont ask again,
Then everyone around me will be joyous,
Except me,
So I keep on wondering…

moments

2010-01-27T12:14:00.000-08:00

We try,
O so hard,
To somehow, anyhow,
Hold on, capture,
Somewhere deep, very deep in our hearts,
Those precious drops,
Drops of moments,
Those drops filled with innocence,
With madness, with laughter,
With those whom we call friends,
As the days turn to months,
And then years,
These drops start to slip from our palms,
Where we held it for so long,
From our hearts, where we cherished it for so long,
And after many rains have gone,
After all things gained and lost,
What remains shining from thy hearts,
Is the sparkles of rainbow,
Like those when light passes the first drops of rain,
From the few drops still left in my heart,
So Until these few last drops are lost from my heart,
And as I wait for my end,
I look at the rainbow,
And As I have my last few breaths,
I don’t want to analyze what I have gained and lost,
I only wish,
I had just a few more drops…..

life and death...

2010-01-24T06:31:00.000-08:00

Life and death

The common thing between 3 best films I have seen in the last fortnight is Death. Though of course, the way they treat the theme of death is dramatically different from each other. These films tackle the deep philosophies of death in very varied ways, but the common thing amongst them is that at no point of time do they ‘try’ to tell you anything. The characters themselves are so powerful and they speak to you by grabbing you, literally from the inside. This is not an in-depth analysis of these films, its just to display what effect it may have on some people(like me).

1) Opium war

Set in Afghanistan, the film catches your attention right from the first shot. Watching it amongst a packed audience at Mami, the film tells the story of a family living in a small almost non- existing town, somewhere in Afghanistan, mixed with the story of 2 American soldiers, who because of their helicopter crash in the desert take refuge with the family. The family has 3 to 4 wives/mother, 1 legged husband/father, a 15 yr old boy who plays the head of the family in absence of the father, and 8 to 10 very young kids. The 15yr old kid captures your attention on the screen everytime he is there. He is bold, brash, outspoken and takes care of his family who have tanks and crashed choppers as their home. The wives are constantly fighting for attention and use their children to get over one another. The soldiers, one of whom is black, are at the mercy of the family, which on the surface may result into few funny moments but analysis of those moments shows how innocence has left that place a long long time ago. Where one sees the young kids dancing merrily and proclaiming with glee, that the graveyards in their backyard have Russian, Taliban and Pakistani soldier’s bodies. These kids are not more then 10-12 yrs old. Amongst the hushed up laughs such scenes generated in the theatre, one felt a sense of disgust of the times we are living in. To be amazed and disgusted by the child actors is a rarity these days in the world. Amazed by their performances, the anger in their eyes, and disgusted by whats going on there, here and so many places. One feels, that human life was once important, pure, a gift of nature. But now cant help but question these thoughts. As one of the soldiers says( more or less), ‘ we are all fucked. Either we humans will end up killing ourselves, each other or as a result of what we have done with nature, it will finish us soon.’ There is a sense of helplessness amongst the characters in the movie, who have no control over their lives, in a place where democracy is now a joke( one of the most brilliant climax scenes I saw at the festival movies). All in all, in a place where life is of no value, and hope is long dead, there are people still breathing and laughing, if that’s spirit then that’s it.

2) The sisters keeper

A chick flick on the surface, a story about love in the most difficult of human conditions in the core. It’s the story about a family. A couple, have a son and a daughter. Daughter at a very young age develops cancer, and to save her, the parents decide to have another child for future requirement of body parts without whom the older daughter will die. What happens when the younger daughter grows up a little and realizes whats gonna happen with her? A mother who will go to any extent to save her daughter. A father who cannot see his daughter suffer everyday and wishes she get the happiness which a normal girl should. A brother who has not got the attention he deserves cause of the condition of his sister. All these characters have issues amongst each other, in their own self, but how beautifully they are dealt with is so powerful in this movie. The girl with cancer, falls in love with a guy, who also has cancer at the hospital, and these two imperfect beings complete each other with each others imperfections. Being a guy, who does not like mushy stuff, and gets embarrassed to admit when he does and cries, I was surprised/ aghast at the unspoken suffering characters go through. It has all the typical nick cassavettes ingredients, but what the hell!!! It touches. For me the highlight of the film was when two sisters, one of whom is about to die, lying in the open sun talk about death and the fear of not seeing each other in the afterlife and worried whether they will be able to find each other!! For me, one of the highlights of the film was the acting of the girl who had cancer. Amongst her frail body, bald head, and wrinkled skin, she displayed the most beautiful smile and a powerful smile, and ultimately is the strength of the family in the tough times. The girl with cancer, through her sister, tries to stop her mother from using her sister’s body part to unsuccessfully keep her alive by court of law. Every character in the movie, tries to protect the other members of the family either without telling them or hurting. Atleast its worth hoping that such families exist, even today. What stayed with me long after the movie, is how death can be taken as a celebration, as a mark of beginning of something new, as not crying over the unavoidable but instead enjoying the present, as how feeble and fleeting life really is, and how its ticking by one second at a time, almost whispering you to look around and value what you have.

3) Man on wire
Had heard about the documentary sometime back but having had a couple of bad experiences at Mami with documentaries I wanted to skip it. But on the insistence of a friend of mine, I tagged along, grudging at missing some other movie. 10 mts into the movie, I was smacking my head in my hands and finding it hard to breath, as my friends wondered whether I had got one of my panic attacks which I get during shoots. Ok, well it tells the story of phillip, who is a tight rope walker. He loves to climb everywhere and anywhere high, from when he was small, he does not know why. His fascination takes him to walk on a tight rope between nostra damus first and then the big bridge of Australia whose name I don’t remember. Till his fascination takes him and his friends on the adventure of their lives as in 1974, he attempts to walk on a tightrope, on a misty morning, between the TWO WORLD TRADE CENTRE TOWERS, 102 FLOORS HIGH. The film has some of the real footage shot by phillip and some of the specially shot footage with actors playing phillip and his friends. The film is given a thriller type of feel in the beginning. But it slowly becomes about 2 things. That is friendship amongst phillip and his friends and dreams which don’t have the answer to the question why??? But what generated the maximum applause in the packed theatre and bangs of my head in my hands, was the spirit of phillip. On being asked whether he was not afraid to die doing his act, he answers ‘ what a beautiful death it would be. To die doing something you are so passionate about!!’’ Throughout the film, his spirit makes you shake your head in literal disbelief and sub consciously laugh at the petty probs we often cry on. Atleast that’s what happened with me. Here is a guy, who wanted to do something impossible, and in every problem, he saw a sense of optimism, with a smile on his face. He creates something beautiful, for the world to see. Death was only few steps or 1 mistake away from him, but such things made him stronger. On the technical side, the background score is mind blowing, and editing beautiful. Its hard to write on such a film which is so close to me, and it reminded me of THE SEA INSIDE. Like that film, this film though has characters who live on the edge and close to death, they inspire everyone to appreciate life and beauty. For me, this was the best film I saw at MAMI. And it will haunt me and laugh at me, everytime I cry and go pessimistic.

All these movies have death in common, yes. But it will take time for me to analyse what it says, and what as a viewer one can take from them, specially in times like these. Times, when ‘ we are all gonna be fucked anyways’.Times when concept of humanity is fast becoming ILLOLOGICAL. Where everywhere you see, on there is misery and manipulation. The thoughts that come to me are does it matter? All the running and fighting and dreaming when people are so badly fucked in so many parts of the world. Or is it important to appreciate what you have around you then run after materialistc shit. Is it worth it to risk loosing so much when life is so fickle and can end so suddenly. Or are dreams and passions worth it to create that one moment of bliss and happiness and liberation that it all becomes worth it. The answer is I don’t know. The website is for films and I may be digressing a little so sorry for that. But these films raised a lot of contradictory thoughts and questions in me so I thought maybe I can share here. The most disturbing question which haunts me and many others since the realization of it is how to tackle death and the fear of it? I don’t know. Well, I hope these movies are widely seen as they deserve to, and I hope in the years to come, my thoughts along with many other youths are answered by our experiences.